Oh! Once again I'm confused.
I don't know how to read people. I don't know what they want, why they do what they do, and in some ways I give up. After all I can't risk anything, not anymore.
I'm young but that does not mean I am free to go make mistakes. I'm only free to do MY BEST.
Sometimes that might feel like one is not free. There are times I question, what If I had been bad?
How terrible could that have been? Then I answer probably damn bad. I look around and I don't see any role model. Everything is quite messed up.
I don't understand how money works. I can be vain yes I can. That's why I never dreamt of being ridiculously rich. I know I could get lost. Thinking money can buy you hapiness because you are sick of people's lies. You want to own something. You want to take revenge on the world by just feeling succesful, beautiful and rich. At least a part of me does. And it is complex. My dark side is what sometimes makes me survive. Because instead of feeling sorry for things I'm not responsible of, instead of feeling like I haven't done enough, instead of feeling sad because I'm alone. Instead of all that, I compensate and say " I LOVE MYSELF" because I TRUST MYSELF. Oh yes, they won't make me cry anymore!!!
Anyway, that's enough to say for today..
Goodnight everyone!! <3
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